Monday, 26 June 2017

how to be a Goddess

                    Image result for goddess quotes and sayings

are you a goddess?

How can we mere mortals be a Goddess? We can.

We can be a Goddess in our own life, and of our own life. We can be a Goddess to our partner, our children, grandchildren, family, friends... to many people!

When we are loved by someone, we are a Goddess to them. When we, in turn, love, we are a Goddess. So for me, being a Goddess is about love. And caring. I have friends who are absolute Goddesses for the myriad of times that they have been there for me. I hope that I am a Goddess to them.

Each Goddess in the universal scheme of things, brings something unique to us. So, I feel that to be a Goddess, we can do that too. 

Bring something unique, of ourselves, to our own universe. Maybe that special something is like a gift that is special to oneself. A gift that we give to others. Many of us can do similar things but I do think that it is the way that each of us does our special gift, that adds to Goddess-ness.

what is your special gift?

What do you give that is unique to you because of the way that you do it?

When I think of all the females in my life, family and friends, I can see that each person does indeed have a special gift. I look at my daughters and grand-daughters and am grateful that I have always been able to see, feel, and appreciate their unique gifts. 

Some gifts are right out there to see, such as being an artist, or a singer, but there are other gifts too.

The gift of:

  • communicating with creatures such as animals and birds
  • being amazing with children
  • loyalty
  • laughter
  • kindness
  • bravery
  • grace

for example. These are all important too, and, I think, are extremely special.

show your inner light

I encourage all of us to think about this, and be brave enough to allow our own inner light, our own Goddess-ness to shine through, with whatever is unique to us, and in the manner in which we express it. And to encourage fellow Goddesses to do the same.

Friday, 16 June 2017

what to do about bad feelings.

                               Image result for witty female sayings about negativity

the habit of feeling "down"

One of life's ironies seems to be that it is easier to get into the habit of feeling "down", rather than the habit of feeling "up", happy, positive.

I am not sure why this is so, but I am aware of how easy it is to suddenly "come to" and realise that the 'ole negative energy has found it's way back, and is determinedly making itself at home in one's psyche.

sometimes difficult things happen

Of course, often we can have had a difficult period of time when being positive, being happy, is the last thing on our list. I have had many times like this, and I'm sure that you have too.

But there does come a time when the clouds clear, and it's time to find our way back to a less difficult state of being. Just as I have come back from these times to a happier place, I know that you have, and can, too.

Sometimes it's something else that makes us feel "down". And, if someone has been incredibly traumatised in their life, of course there will be days when they wake up, and the world seems like a dark place. And this is normal for some people, and I think, quite acceptable and quite okay. Many other people can wake up feeling "down" for no reason.

what can we do?

Rather than beating ourselves up for being human, I am going to suggest another way of looking at things.

Firstly, as humans, we are emotional beings. We are supposed to laugh, cry, have anger. All have these have a place in our life. We are not bad people for experiencing any of these. We are just people. 

Imagine if we didn't get angry, or cry, when bad things happen to others. Where would our wonderful faculties of caring be, if we didn't have these responses?

How can we connect with love and caring, without laughter? All necessary.

But these other times, when we are down, for whatever reason, what is happening? Are we "bad" for not being positive? I don't think so.

there is a "negative energy"

I have been learning off a Maori Tohunga (healer and shaman) for some years. One of the first lessons was about an energy that is negativity. It can engulf us. Sometimes before we even realise it. Each of us is prone to it. (great....)

When I learnt to look at those down states of being as negative energy, it became surprisingly easier to do something about it. For homework one week, we had to write down strategies for when we find ourselves engulfed in this energy.

Being me, I practically wrote a book!! I referred to it, at the time, as an insidious force. And it is, it can just creep up on us. 

My solution for dealing with it, was to firstly visit my eldest daughter, an astrologer, who would patiently say what it was, regarding the position of the planets in my horoscope, and that I "just had to through with it". Great! (not)

what to do about it

Firstly, I think that it helps to have strategies to prevent us drifting into the blues, negativity, whatever you want to call it. And for each of us, it can be different. 

For example, I often do some meditation in the mornings, and the on-going effect of this is feeling quite cheerful and calm. So, for me, that's good. 

Whereas other people prefer to:

  • go for a walk
  • a run
  • the gym
  • cook
  • bake
  • read
  • go to the movies, and so on. 

Each of us has our own things that calm us and make us happy. So we need to fit in time to do these things regularly. 

And it is also a good idea to make a list of things to do for when we realise that we are "down". During really difficult times, although I have meditated for more than half of my (long) life, I know that it just doesn't do the trick, at those down times. But:

  • going to the ocean
  • going for a walk
  • seeing loved ones
These are things that help me.

What would your prevention list, and your list for climbing out of the mire, be?

a sense of humour helps 

Tony Robbins, life coach extraordinaire, suggests to bring a bit of humour into things during difficult times. 

For example, when we are asked about something difficult, that we are going through, we could:

  • embellish it
  • talk about it very negatively
  • or be quite wry, as in British understatement. We could say, according to Tony, that things are a tad difficult.  I love this. It brings in a sense of humour and makes the difficulties not be so prominent. 
Worth trying.

Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Time Management

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(and I think that this also applies to managing our time)


Now that the colder, rainy, windy, weather has set in, in Auckland, New Zealand, I feel that it is time to reorganise my life. For some reason, I always feel this way about this time of the year.

And it is probably because my other warm-weather routines just don't work too well, when the days are shorter and wintry. It's also this time of year when I discover that last year's cold weather clothes are somewhat tatty, and that I don't have enough gear to keep me warm and looking good.

Sorting myself out

So this year, I did a massive winter shopping expedition and biff out. I still have a few more garments to get, but I'm really pleased that I have been so organised. 

I also dyed over the warm blonde and light brown hair that I had been wearing since Christmas. I hated the colour, it made me look washed out, and old (and I can't continue with either of those!) I am back to having darker brown hair with a cool undertone, which is more in keeping with my skin colouring and also my personality.

And I realised that it was again time to "sort myself out'. Which, I must confess, is like an ongoing project for me!! This time, in regards to time itself.

Important to know about decisions

Planning is often difficult for me, in terms of making decisions: 

  • what to do
  • and when to do it. (also known as procrastination......)

And that is just a personality thing with me. I actually am quite organised already, by nature. But I can, and do, get bogged down in the details, and this is where the indecision comes in. 

making too many choices is tiring

The idea of being organised and pre-planning, is to reduce daily decision making, as there is actually such a thing as decision fatigue. It seems that we have a limited capacity for decisions. When we use up our decision-making reserves early in the day, we can tend to make "bad" decisions later that day.

All you Mums out there: take note! Our children have the same problem with decision fatigue too. They also need some routine so that when they do make decisions, they make good ones.

How to learn to plan

I went on a business course about sixteen years ago. The first thing we were told to do was planning, and we were given a month page out of a calendar to do so, without any advice about what and how to do it. 

This was hilarious - who was supposed to know how to plan their life and time with just that? So, I researched time planning, and, because I had been in business for many years, I also added bits and bobs that I already knew. I didn't have access to a computer, so I had to use the library.

I used a monthly calendar page (but now I prefer a wall yearly calendar), and a weekly grid that I already had. Plus my daily dairy.

do a yearly calendar first


  • write in anything necessary on the yearly calendar, month by month
  • include important things for your children, school terms, school events, holidays, etc. 

This is like pre-planning, and having it visible does seem to make planning easier. 

then do the diary

Transfer any necessary information from this into your diary, on the appropriate pages. You might need to write in other things to do with this, too. Such as write down when you need to start looking at bookings for a trip, for example. Or book for the dentist.

what I do on my weekly grid

Now fill in the weekly grid, for the week. You will find that you do many things on the same days, at the same times. 

I ended up doing this planning on Monday mornings as I was mostly working from home

  • when I was teaching a lot of yoga classes, I would lightly colour the times of the classes, including travel, on the grid. 
  • gym classes were one colour, public classes another colour, with a third colour for private classes.
  • you obviously would have a different set of activities. 
  • then I could see when to fit in shopping, prepare advertising, packing for a weekend trip, catching up with friends and family. And onto the weekly grid these would also go.
  • add whatever is important to do this week:  (this is anything, e.g: a home chore, put out advertising, prepare for Sunday seminar, visit family)

Planning lessons learnt

This is a rough baseline example. I had a grid drawn up with lines, etc, 1 for each week, nothing fancy. By doing this, then quickly transferring any necessary appointments to my diary, I soon learnt an important lesson. 

Just by looking at my grid: I could see that I was always overloading myself. Sometimes it is just our time to have to work hard. But during other times, we can and should, be spacing ourselves better.

Another thing that I learnt, (but didn't always get to do) was to leave a proportion of daily time free. It was either 40% or 60% that was recommended. Because we also need to fit in:

  • hygiene
  • food
  • shopping
  • cleaning
  • family and friends
  • and whatever else
  • and we need space for "things that unexpectedly come up". 

my big lesson that I learnt

I learnt that I never allowed time for these things, being self-employed with a child, and this was one of the reasons that I was so stressed. I also had to learn to say "no" to things that encroached on our life. But it took doing my first grid to see how I kept over loading myself. I'm sure all you Mums know what I'm talking about.

                              Image result for witty time management

Adding extras

Looking at at my grid, I would also be able to see when and where to be able to do other things. The visual aspect of it all was very helpful, and although I haven't done it for a while - it is now next on my "to-do" list - sorting myself out, time-wise, with:

  • a monthly (my wicked fireman) calendar
  • a drawn up and photocopied grid
  • plus my diary. I always have a diary. And I keep them too (my secret hoarder fetish thing).

you don't have to be too rigid

I found that I only had to do a weekly grid for a while, now and then. Now that I am not utilising my time properly, I really need to do it again for a while, to re-establish habits.

I know that some people just use their computers or phones to do their organisation on, but for me, that is just too frustrating. I want something quick, easy, and easily visible.

the chic files

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