Wednesday, 19 September 2018

Socialising

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Inspiration to socialise


I was reading about a woman who has, for some months, been using public transport, to get out and about. She has a car, and often used to bike into her local town. But now, she instead, has chosen to use buses.


Where I live, you can, instead of using your car:
  • walk
  • take trains
  • bus
  • or alternate between these to get to many of your destinations
This is something that I really wanted to do, but haven't. Why have I not done it?
  • I haven't been organised enough to do it
  • You have to allow time to do this
  • I have also been using the rain as an excuse not to. But it's not always raining.
I am going to get into working this into my life, even if it takes me a while to do so:
  • If I want to see my Grand-daughter who lives in an inner city suburb, I can walk to the bus around the corner from where I live, bus to the local shops, get a train to my destination. Hop out of the train, walk across the tracks, and I'm at my Grand-daughter's. Or, just walk to the shops to get the train
  • I can walk to the local shops a couple of times a week for some groceries
  • I can walk and bus to the local mall to do chores there
When I was growing up, we did indeed walk everywhere. Plus catch buses. It was expected that we would do this. No wonder we were all so slim, and seldom got sick. (and yes, I do know... this was a long time ago...)

So, just how is this socialising?

Ah, the crux of this post.
  • The woman whom I was reading about, said it was so that she could be amongst people
  • meet people
  • interact with others
Now, this is an internationally famous author, (Monica Grenfell), who simply decided to do this. I'm willing to bet that she doesn't actually need to have more people in her life.

A cure for loneliness

But I can tell you, that doing all this, is a great cure for loneliness. And for when we realise that we are being too insular (which I can definitely be). What I would do, when I was at home too much, and hadn't talked to anyone for a few days, was:

  • go to the library and work on my computer
  • go over the road to the local cafe. I made many lovely new friends at that cafe
  • walk in the local park
  • go to the local beach, even if it was just to hang out
  • go to a local weekend outdoor brunch place by the sea, and eat a delicious french crepe
I wasn't lonely, as such, but I definitely was being too isolated!

People who need people

Barbra Streisand has an old song about this...


"people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world"

I forget the rest of the song, but I do believe that no person is an island. We need one another. We not only need each other:
  • for company
  • for giving and receiving friendship
  • and for love
But also for skills. The Art of Being Able To Interact With Others. True socialising.

Children need to mix with others, too

Not just at school, but in many situations. In my early years, I was the eldest of five little girls. We only played together for many years, because it was just too much for Mum when a hoard of kids came other to play. Understandable. Actually, she did try to do this, but it was so hard to do. And I am in no way criticising Mum; she was an amazing mother.

As everyone got older, of course this changed. Each child had friends of their own. But, and for me in those early years, and this was the important part, I did not know how to mix with people, even those of my own age, nor how to forge friendships.

Because I was not socialised.

Image may contain: 3 peopleI had a period of my life when I went to live with Nanna, and there, I was expected to be able to  talk to people of all ages. I soon learnt!! It wasn't easy for me, but it was a learned skill, from those lovely years, for which I am still so incredibly grateful.

I had become socialised. And, it did indeed make my life easier.

ps the family grew........


                     Image may contain: 6 people
                           

4 comments:

  1. A lovely, helpful and informative post, Ratnamurti. I think if I were on my own, I'd use public transport much more, it would be a way of socializing and help prevent loneliness. Thank you for this lovely post.
    Margaret P
    www.margaretpowling.com

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  2. Thank you for your lovely comments, Margaret.

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  3. Hi Swami, many years a go I worked in this little coffee shop in the UK where every day people would come for a hot drink, a piece of cake and company. For many older customers their visit to the coffeeshop was the only time they saw people to talk to. I loved being part of it... AN older friend in the UK also made some lovely friends by joing free computer classes at her local library ( she never quite got the hang of using a computer though). Being social doesn't have to be extreme or cost a fortune, we just need to take those first few steps and be friendly.

    xx

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    Replies
    1. I so agree, Debbie. Your friend definitely had the right idea doing a computer course. And, some cafes, not too many here, sadly, are set up like your coffee shop that you spoke of. I was living opposite a wee cafe which was set up by a wonderful couple who wanted a place for local people to come and meet people. Every morning a group of older people come with their dogs and sit outside and chat for ages. So heart warming to see. I often wonder if people know that it is so easy to find other people. Our local libraries are great for that, they are so community minded.

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