Friday, 26 July 2019

the Art of Confidence

                  Related image   

Another celebrity tip, from Helen Mirren:

act confident, even when you're not feeling that way 

She says to:
  • have great posture
  • put on a smile
  • be nice
  • fake it

Great advice. I mean, a person would be halfway there with confidence, just using these tips.

I am a quiet wee soul

I confess, I am not naturally confident. I sidle in through doorways, quietly. I sit at the back of presentations and such when I'm not the presenter. I sit quietly at gatherings. I really find it hard to get up and introduce myself at group thingeys. I am sure that I am not alone, in all of this.

Actually, a big part of this is because I am a very private person. Part is that I had many years in the public eye, and I don't feel the urge anymore to do that. Even though, mysteriously, I still sometimes am.

It is so ironic, regarding moi. Being The Unseen, so to speak. For I am quite accustomed to standing or sitting in front of quite a few people, and giving a talk. Or teaching. I've taken hundreds of seminars in my lifetime. Countless talks. Written many articles. Mostly on all yoga, but also on healing.

helpful hints when we are nervous

And, I must say, it is so much easier when we are in front of people, if we are not talking about oneself. The moment that we are talking about ourselves, it mysteriously becomes an issue. I know that, in those moments, I have to:

  • take a deep breath
  • stand tall
  • centre myself
  • talk clearly and calmly
  • be quiet within
  • smile 

when it's me introducing myself. Even when I am secretly quaking inside.

Ah, the things that we do.

weird things that I've done in the name of confidence

More than thirty years of sitting on the floor in front of groups for hours, taught me a thing or two.

  • One is to sit still, and then when everyone closes their eyes for meditation, quickly move the position of my aching legs. Even have a frantic leg and foot massage. Then appear to have been sitting still in deep meditation when everyone opens their eyes. 
  • When my fellow teacher wouldn't stop talking, I would close my eyes with a half smile and look as though I was meditating. 

Hey, other people do these, too.

an easy confidence tip

But on a more serious note, I have only ever taught, with yoga and also healing, what I already knew. And in this way, I had full confidence. I still do in these areas. Because I know it all inside out. Then it becomes about what you are teaching, and whom you are teaching, rather than about oneself. The same goes for talks, lectures, writing articles.

And I do believe, at least for myself, that this is one of the keys to everyday confidence. Not making it all about oneself.

I know that I talk about the moi-iverse (the universe which is all about me), and I do know a fair few people who do live life as though everything is about them. Which, to me, is so silly. Because it's not.

But, really, I can be quiet and not always pushing myself out front,  yet still caring about others. Not making it all about moi. I know lots of people who are like this, too.

How do we do this, when maybe we are shy? Or not feeling confident.

everyone is interesting, has a story

All of the above tips help, I find. And a genuine interest in people. Everyone has their own unique story. I simply ask people what they do in their life. Honestly, people are fascinating. Everyone is. And just asking that simple question and following it up with even more questions usually leads to an interesting tet-a-tet. Shyness dissolves. I've made friends this way. I had to learn how to do it, because many moons ago, I didn't know how to. And I am so glad that I learnt. I've made friends just doing this. 

What do you do for lack of confidence?

Friday, 19 July 2019

the things that we do

                      Image result for quote about visualisation
                                                (so true)

the things that we do

This sounds, to me, like a joke. You know: 'the time that I did this, and the time that I did that'. Then we all laugh. I recall a very hilarious evening where myself and some of my sisters, told each other very private, and very funny, stories about ourselves, about such times. Stories that normally one wouldn't let anyone know about. I was so proud: mine were the best! Well, I thought so. And judging by the laughter, maybe they were.

But that's not what this post is actually about. It's about visualisation, and goals. Which can be great assets in our quest to have a better life. I was unsuccessful at visualisation for a long time. I couldn't understand why. I was doing visualisation the way that we are 'supposed' to, but it wasn't working. And I got quite confused about this. 

So, for example, say I want to have a beautiful home to live in. So, I visualise what I want in great detail. And carry on my merry way with my life. Sometimes, this really does work. But, there is something missing here. I am visualising what I want. Without any care nor thought about how to get this dream home. Nor if I'm actually meant to have a dream home, just the way I want it. 

Sometimes, I do feel that some of our wishes are actually not part of our life's plan. You know, the secret plan that was sorted out before you were incarnated into a lifetime. 

I have tried adding accomplishment dates. Um, that wasn't so successful, either. 

And, how I would feel when my goal was reached. No, that was a fizzer, too.  

And yet, these are apparently, the ways to visualise. In glorious technicolour. With sounds, feelings, and whatever else. Clearly somethings were missing. And it wasn't as if I couldn't visualise, either. I am a very visual person.

the secret of visualisation

But, I noticed something a while ago. I read The Silva Mind Control Method. For no other reason than mild curiosity. They recommended with visualisation, seeing oneself doing whatever it was that one desired to achieve.

The keys words being: doing, desire, and achieve. 

Seeing the scenario about six feet, or about two metres, away from oneself. 

And, just like that, I started 'seeing' me, well, visualising actually, about two metres in front of myself, doing whatever I had to do. In technicolour. And, the next thing I knew, I'd be doing it. I did this for silly things that I had been procrastinating about doing. Or, getting something to eat that was nice and healthy. 

I did it very casually, as if whatever I was visualising, was what was meant to be, no rush, no worries about it.  No stress involved. In a way this was all most annoying, because it was so effective! I had to 'do' all of these things that had been so hard to do.

I don't know if anyone else would find any of this useful. But, as a serial failure at visualising, I have found this 'new-to-me' method, really good. 

I might call it the 'ratnamurti-no-mind-control method'. 

Friday, 5 July 2019

rewriting your life

                                   Image result for rumi quote on dreams

a difficult time

I have been unwell and then managed to get the flu, too.  My immunity was so low from being with people who had the flu, and accumulated stress from a difficult year. Plus being 'all over the place' with

  • unpacking in my new cabin, without much space to put anything
  • sorting out my 'stuff'
  • making new boxes for the op-shop
  • studying, and having end of term tests. I have been really struggling. The good news, for me, is that I am incredibly determined, so I'm sure that I'll come out being fluent in Te Reo Maori. 

Being so sick made me stop and do nothing. I had to force myself to stop obsessing about 'getting things done', and just recuperate.  Which I did do, thanks, with the help of m'sieur netflix, a hottie, and sleep. Lots of sleep. 

Then suddenly, at the height of my being really sick, I had an epiphany. Yes, a big one. A First World one actually, but important for the happiness of my own moi-iverse, aka My World Is All About Me. Hopefully, to some extent at least, we all get to have moi-iverse times in our life. I think that my time is now. 

the Big Epiphany

I could rewrite my life exactly how I want it. Yes. It was as simple as that. I always know what I want to get done, but somehow circumstances have prevented this for quite a few years. I feel that I have removed most obstacles to my plans, but, I also know that life is always going to present Things That Get In The Way. I also gave so much of my time to so many situations and people, when I really should have just been more hard-hearted, and done what I wanted to do. 

Lessons, lessons. These sort of scenarios are truly my weak points. And I always learn The Hard Way that I'm making mistakes doing them. But that's okay, as life is for experiencing, learning, and loving.

So, in what sort of ways can I write my new history?

  • daily routines. For me, I just cannot see how I can accomplish my own dreams without making time to do them. Which means regularity with most things in my life, and just quickly getting these routines done rather than procrastinating. I find that regularity in many areas leaves time, too, for family and friends.
  • I was going for a walk most mornings, and often in the late afternoon, but now that I've shifted into the steep and winding Waitakere Ranges, I'm not sure that at the moment I can manage to emulate a mountain goat by tromping up and down these hills. Especially my amazingly (scary) steep driveway. Ah well, I'm sure that I can sort something out for heart fitness.
  • A regular time for studying. The recommended time is one hour daily (gasp!)
  • Sort out a do-able schedule for my new plans (secret)
I am quite excited about all of this. Sometimes, we just have to take stock of our life, and Sort It Out, other times a window of opportunity opens wide and beckons. It beckons: 'come, fulfill your dreams'

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