Another celebrity tip, from Helen Mirren:
act confident, even when you're not feeling that way
She says to:
- have great posture
- put on a smile
- be nice
- fake it
Great advice. I mean, a person would be halfway there with confidence, just using these tips.
I am a quiet wee soul
I confess, I am not naturally confident. I sidle in through doorways, quietly. I sit at the back of presentations and such when I'm not the presenter. I sit quietly at gatherings. I really find it hard to get up and introduce myself at group thingeys. I am sure that I am not alone, in all of this.
Actually, a big part of this is because I am a very private person. Part is that I had many years in the public eye, and I don't feel the urge anymore to do that. Even though, mysteriously, I still sometimes am.
It is so ironic, regarding moi. Being The Unseen, so to speak. For I am quite accustomed to standing or sitting in front of quite a few people, and giving a talk. Or teaching. I've taken hundreds of seminars in my lifetime. Countless talks. Written many articles. Mostly on all yoga, but also on healing.
helpful hints when we are nervous
And, I must say, it is so much easier when we are in front of people, if we are not talking about oneself. The moment that we are talking about ourselves, it mysteriously becomes an issue. I know that, in those moments, I have to:
- take a deep breath
- stand tall
- centre myself
- talk clearly and calmly
- be quiet within
when it's me introducing myself. Even when I am secretly quaking inside.
Ah, the things that we do.
weird things that I've done in the name of confidence
More than thirty years of sitting on the floor in front of groups for hours, taught me a thing or two.
- One is to sit still, and then when everyone closes their eyes for meditation, quickly move the position of my aching legs. Even have a frantic leg and foot massage. Then appear to have been sitting still in deep meditation when everyone opens their eyes.
- When my fellow teacher wouldn't stop talking, I would close my eyes with a half smile and look as though I was meditating.
Hey, other people do these, too.
an easy confidence tip
But on a more serious note, I have only ever taught, with yoga and also healing, what I already knew. And in this way, I had full confidence. I still do in these areas. Because I know it all inside out. Then it becomes about what you are teaching, and whom you are teaching, rather than about oneself. The same goes for talks, lectures, writing articles.
And I do believe, at least for myself, that this is one of the keys to everyday confidence. Not making it all about oneself.
I know that I talk about the moi-iverse (the universe which is all about me), and I do know a fair few people who do live life as though everything is about them. Which, to me, is so silly. Because it's not.
But, really, I can be quiet and not always pushing myself out front, yet still caring about others. Not making it all about moi. I know lots of people who are like this, too.
How do we do this, when maybe we are shy? Or not feeling confident.
everyone is interesting, has a story
All of the above tips help, I find. And a genuine interest in people. Everyone has their own unique story. I simply ask people what they do in their life. Honestly, people are fascinating. Everyone is. And just asking that simple question and following it up with even more questions usually leads to an interesting tet-a-tet. Shyness dissolves. I've made friends this way. I had to learn how to do it, because many moons ago, I didn't know how to. And I am so glad that I learnt. I've made friends just doing this.
What do you do for lack of confidence?