Wednesday, 30 September 2015

Affirmations, self-talk...etc .....etc

I have already mentioned that I have a couple of affirmations that I have used, since my mid-20s actually. I kept those 2 because they work for me: "I believe in love, I believe in life, I believe in me"; & "I do what I have to do willingly & cheerfully"....which may sound a bit silly, but if you have to go to work, or clean, or do a social thing that you balk at....it really does help if we can be cheerful about it.

But I have, in the distant past, done absolute overkill trying to get affirmations to work...adding my name, a time frame eg by "1st January 2000 I will be........."; also I've done "now" affirmations such as "I am happy & have lots of money". I have "powered-up" with force, concentration, doing affirmations. None of these worked.

Why?...because there are ways to do affirmations that really do work, & there are also lots of silly ideas too.

Here are a couple of secrets that I've found, some by myself, others by researching. First, the affirmation has to be relevant, which sounds obvious. If, for example, you want to be rich but don't even have a job....then perhaps getting a job, or training would be better things to make affirmations about. And do you actually want to be rich....or do you want to have lots of money to spend? Generally, rich people don't waste money!! There is a difference between the two. So if you want to be rich but spend all your money all the time...the affirmations would be about saving money, being careful with your spending, growing vegetables, using what you already have (rather than always buying "stuff")...& these are the things that make you rich(-er)....then affirming "I am rich" makes sense.

Researchers at the University of Kent, England, have found that the symptoms of physical tiredness can be staved by simply repeating phrases to yourself like "I feel ok". Try it & see. There is a highly lauded technique called The Lightning Process, which has been found to be miraculous for head injuries & fibromyalgia (amongst others). I don't know the full technique but basically, we can try something similar, so when your symptoms appear eg severe pain with fibromyalgia, you change your stance. So, if you are standing, turn & stand in another direction. Or, if you are sitting, stand. If you are stooping, stand tall. Talk to yourself: "do you want to be this way?" "do you want to feel better?". Then bring to mind a colour, remember what it felt like when you were free of the problem,  & as you release the colour through your brain & body, bring those "good" feelings through your body, mind emotions. Pause...say your affirmation, we will use "I feel ok" here, still holding onto all the good feelings. Now, be aware of how you are in the present moment...this helps to "imprint" everything through the nervous systems. Tony Robbins, personal mentor extraordinaire,  used to say that if you want to change the way that you feel...change your (physical) stance & it will change your emotions.

Affirmations work best when we are relaxed. For some, it's necessary to learn how to relax first. When we are stressed, angry, anxious or upset in any way & we say "I feel ok" (for example)....how can that work? We are saying that we are one way when we actually are the opposite way in fight or flight mode. These are contradictory messages for our psyche, & we are creating tension by doing this. There is a wonderful old book, from the 1960s or 1970s, called Psycho-Cybernetics, by Maxwell Maltz. It can sometimes be found in 2nd hand book shops & fairs, & although it's quite dated in many ways, the basic principles are still correct. Relaxation whilst doing visualisation & affirmations are the important criteria, according to this book.

These are a few ideas to start working with, or to consider. There are more.

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