It seems to me that my last post, on choices, might have not been quite as clear as it could have been. Basically when we have to make too many choices, our good judgement and common sense in making choices, this lessens, weakens, for example later on during the day, & we start making unwise choices as the day goes along, or come evening, when we let the kids do things we know we shouldn't allow, we can't decide between healthy & unhealthy food. The list goes on!
So this is why we can make better choices when we are rushed, tired, under stress, if we have some things that are habits. Like kids' bedtimes, dinner decided earlier in the day, breakfast & lunch same but maybe slightly different each day. Takeaways for special times or when we just fit in cooking.
Apparently we usually have a repertoire of about 10 meals that we regularly make. If you add a choice of maybe 2-3 breakfasts, & the same with lunches...what we chose is depending on the seasons, I mean...who wants hot thick soup in summer? or chilled foods in winter? Straight up, just by doing this...when we get to the supermarket we know what to buy, what we need & we then don't hike up our food bill dollars by having to make on the spot choices.
Sometimes we have too many choices
I think that it's the same with everything. If we have too many clothes which don't mix & match....it's stressful just getting dressed! So unnecessary. Imagine how it is for young kids when they have too many clothes & they decide what to wear. Or too many choices in anything. How can they be expected to always make suitable choices?
But we do need some choices
But I am totally into choices on another level:
- my kids often decided what to wear when they were young, but, they didn't have endless amounts of clothes, and shoes
- and they often got to choose meals. But not always
- they had so many choices with playing & their friends. It was through these interactions with their peers that they learnt how to make the choices which built them as individuals.
This is the flip side of choices:
- our choices teach us in life
- we learn about ourselves, about others, about society
- we grow through good choices & bad choices
As a parent this is what I so wanted for my children...to learn about life & themselves through experience & learn how to make their own choices, travel their own path. And I want it for my grandchildren too.
To stand tall & to know who they are. To find & reveal their own uniqueness. This is real power. Although (apparently) I was a strict mum, I always wanted my kids to be true to themselves & to grow in that truth. Not follow my path, & not adhere to my truth.
So, for me, I believe that in restricting daily choices so that with the real things that matter, we can then make easier, happier choices. I can see with some much younger friends, that their children will have a happier adulthood because they have not been overwhelmed in childhood with too many (spoilt) choices. And experience & choices, & the aftermath of those choices, good or bad, taught me this.