Tuesday, 7 August 2018

People who have a better life

                                         Image result for laughter vintage french                                         

Who are these people who have a better life?

(happiness comes into it, too)

Well according to psychology researchers, it has to do with personality traits. And, specific traits, in particular.

Here are some of the main ones, plus my own (unsolicited) comments:

enthusiasm, extroversion, outgoing, laugh a lot

All under the same umbrella. So obvious, I think. I actually am not an extrovert, and, as an adult, I had to learn how to be outgoing, how to socialise. So I do know that it's possible. I've also noticed that my friends who can find humour and smiles, when life is not good, they are the ones who get through hardship easier. As a healer and clairvoyant, I have observed that under all our problems, lies happiness, so I do think that happiness is like a birthright. But, sometimes we need to do something to lighten our load, so that we can be happier.

Here are some of the things that worked for me:
  • I deliberately aim to be more outgoing. I make myself go and meet people, and spend time with them.
  • Some years ago, I deliberately, v-e-r-y slowly, so as not to cause more drama, removed myself, bit by bit, from "friends" who were not nice. Who didn't make me feel good about myself.
  • I also removed myself from working with people who were not nice. I'm self-employed, so I can do this. But, I have had times in my life when I just had to "suck it up", and handle bad work situations.
  • I make myself look nice early each day. This could be said to be superficial, and maybe it is, however it makes me feel better, more outgoing, less self absorbed.
low levels of being neurotic

I had a chuckle about this, for who amongst us, is not a bit neurotic about something? But really it means something like being less self absorbed. Whew! I always think of this as being a young person's problem. I remember vividly the day that I stopped being all about me: I gave birth. (mothers will chuckle at this). 

The suggestion is that being self conscious, overwhelmed, easily discouraged, actually means that we do not have a good relationship with ourselves.  Myself, I think that we all go through periods of this. And come out the other side. It seems to me, that when we feel good about ourselves in and heart and emotions sort of way, then we like ourselves more. Simply because we feel better about our self.

industrious, conscientious, getting things done

I am not a happy punter when I have nothing to do. I like to Get Things Done. I find housework a bit overwhelming, but I do it. However, there are so many meaningful aspects to my life! But, I must confess, I made it this way. It wasn't easy, but I just kept trying things over the years until I found what works for me. I'm not there yet (is anyone ever?). 

This is what I insist on fitting into my life, what I am conscientious about:
  1. family. I am so blessed to have children, grandchildren, a great grandchild, and a very large extended family
  2. friends. I have many friends, I make a point of making time to catch up with each of them. Our friends are important. 
  3. work. This is what I do: 
  • I am a yoga teacher, but, from choice I cut down to 2 private classes a week. 
  • I keep in touch with quite a few people whom I trained to be yoga teachers. 
  • I write my 2 blogs, which I love doing. 
  • I do Maori healing, in a clinic one night a week, and occasionally at home. 
  • I regularly attend workshops on Maori spirituality.       
  • I teach the odd yoga workshop. 
  • I give clairvoyant readings
I am busy. But I know that I could do more, without being neurotic about it. You would have your own list, which would, of course, be different. 

compassion, kindness

For me, this goes back to first becoming a mother. A well of kindness, love, and compassion springs forth from within when we have a child. It doesn't have to be a child that we give birth too. It is a child whom we love. Actually I include fur and feather babies here!!!

My mother, grandmother and my aunt whom I lived with in my teens, were kind. How lucky was I to be around them! They each inspired me to resolutely be kind. No matter what. I did know, even at a young age, that being this way, made me have a better life. And happier.

And, to overcome my shyness, as a young adult, I learnt to take an interest in others. I aim not to be nosy (I learnt the hard way not to be nosy....), it's more of a connection thing. And it did help me so much in dealing with being shy and naturally introverted. Which naturally leads onto the next aspect of a better life:

being curious about life, the world; learning new things

I always feel that this is also a youthfulness attribute, for, watching toddlers, children, teens, they have an insatiable desire to know what happening. And with it, they keep learning.

We can too. I am not an intellectual, my learning nosiness is with The Unknown aspects of life, The Hidden Secrets. I am always eager to discover more. 

There are so many things that we can learn about in our life. at any stage. And when something grabs our interest, we do not have to get "down"... because we are too busy to be that way! Our attention has gone away from being "down" to being interested, being excited.

Perhaps if you do not have something meaningful in this area, you could start to discover what grabs you intellectually? For me, my interests, are more to do with my heart. Head, heart, body? What does it matter, as long as it's your learning passion.

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