Friday, 16 June 2017
what to do about bad feelings.
the habit of feeling "down"
One of life's ironies seems to be that it is easier to get into the habit of feeling "down", rather than the habit of feeling "up", happy, positive.
I am not sure why this is so, but I am aware of how easy it is to suddenly "come to" and realise that the 'ole negative energy has found it's way back, and is determinedly making itself at home in one's psyche.
Of course, often we can have had a difficult period of time when being positive, being happy, is the last thing on our list. I have had many times like this, and I'm sure that you have too.
But there does come a time when the clouds clear, and it's time to find our way back to a less difficult state of being. Just as I have come back from these times to a happier place, I know that you have, and can, too.
Sometimes it's something else that makes us feel "down". And, if someone has been incredibly traumatised in their life, of course there will be days when they wake up, and the world seems like a dark place. And this is normal for some people, and I think, quite acceptable and quite okay. Many other people can wake up feeling "down" for no reason.
Rather than beating ourselves up for being human, I am going to suggest another way of looking at things.
Firstly, as humans, we are emotional beings. We are supposed to laugh, cry, have anger. All have these have a place in our life. We are not bad people for experiencing any of these. We are just people. Imagine if we didn't get angry, or cry, when bad things happen to others. Where would our wonderful faculties of caring be, if we didn't have these responses?
How can we connect with love and caring, without laughter? All necessary.
But these other times, when we are down, for whatever reason, what is happening? Are we "bad" for not being positive? I don't think so.
there is a "negative energy"
I have been learning off a Maori Tohunga (healer and shaman) for some years. One of the first lessons was about an energy that is negativity. It can engulf us. Sometimes before we even realise it. Each of us is prone to it. (great....)
When I learnt to look at those down states of being as negative energy, it became surprisingly easier to do something about it. For homework one week, we had to write down strategies for when we find ourselves engulfed in this energy.
Being me, I practically wrote a book!! I referred to it, at the time, as an insidious force. And it is, it can just creep up on us. My solution for dealing with it, was to firstly visit my eldest daughter, an astrologer, who would patiently say what it was, regarding the position of the planets in my horoscope, and that I "just had to through with it". Great! (not)
what to do about it
Firstly, I think that it helps to have strategies to prevent us drifting into the blues, negativity, whatever you want to call it. And for each of us, it can be different. I often do some meditation in the mornings, and the on-going effect of this is feeling quite cheerful and calm. So, for me, that's good. Whereas other people prefer to go for a walk, a run, the gym, cook, bake, read, go to the movies, and so on. Each of us has our own things that calm us and make us happy. So we need to fit in time to do these things regularly.
And it is also a good idea to make a list of things to do for when we realise that we are "down". During really difficult times, although I have meditated for more than half of my (long) life, I know that it just doesn't do the trick, at those down times. But going to the ocean, going for a walk, seeing loved ones.... these are things that help me.
What would your prevention list, and your list for climbing out of the mire, be?
a sense of humour helps
Tony Robbins, life coach extraordinaire, suggests to bring a bit of humour into things during difficult times. For example, when we are asked about something difficult, that we are going through, we could embellish it, talk about it very negatively, or be quite wry, as in British understatement. We could say, according to Tony, that things are a tad difficult. I love this. It brings in a sense of humour and makes the difficulties not be so prominent. Worth trying.
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