the New Year Resolution quandary
At the start of every year, most of us are busy making or deciding, on our New Year's resolutions. Often they don't get followed through, and sometimes they don't manifest at all.
how do we make them happen?
So, what can we do to have our wants, dreams, goals, aspirations, manifest?
The first thing is to write them down. Apparently, when we write something down, it is more likely to be fulfilled. I can attest to that. I have often found lists that I had made in previous years, and been totally surprised that in some way or another, the goals that I had listed, did indeed happen, even if it was not in that year, and often they happened differently to how I thought things would work out.
You can do other things too, according to what suits you: you can journal your path to that goal, you can have a vision board, you can visualize the outcome of that goal or dream. You can make lists where you tick things off. Another blogger likes Excel and uses that to mark off her daily & weekly goal tasks.
The second most important thing is - don't confine yourself too much to how you think the achieved goal, dream, will be once it happens. It can be better and bigger than what you had thought it could be, and it may even morph into a different , more beneficial direction, which is very common.
but that's not all......
But on the other hand, we do need some idea of the achievement, to drive us forward to reaching it. A paradox, to be sure. Why do we need these ideas?
Well, perhaps if we look at the emotions involved with achieving our dream, rather than ideas. Why, because we are feeling creatures, our emotions are so tied up with our life, from the joys to the deep despair. This is how we are.
And it is also emotions which can either propel us to our destination, or completely halt what we are trying to do.
a lovely secret:
We do need to have an idea of the sort of emotions that we would need to get something done, and how we would feel when we have achieved it.
A most useful, and lovely, emotion is excitement. Like a happy, dynamic tingle which goes through every part of us, creating a momentum towards the outcome.
So, what can we do to create this excitement?
- Sometimes just thinking about what we are after, will create that excitement
- Sometimes we do have to work at creating it and building it up by repeatedly bringing the completion or achievement of the goal to mind, along with the sensation of excitement.
We all have had times of excitement whilst going to do something, or waiting for something:
- Remember the excitement of being very young and waiting for Santa to come?
- How excited you were before your birthday party?
- The happiness and excitement of looking forward to being with a partner whom you are in love with?
Yes, excitement is within us all, just a-waiting for a chance to express itself.
The link with Heart Math
Why is it important to be excited about the (future) achievement of our dreams? There is a very special reason. The Heart Math Institute In the USA has studied and tracked people for decades, to find out what creates emotional intelligence, known as E.Q. (emotional quotient), and also the traits of those who are emotionally intelligent. It seems those those who have a high E.Q. have happier lives.
Why? E.Q. is about:
- understanding, and utilizing our emotions, in our life.
- in other words, knowing oneself by knowing our emotions,
- and being able to motivate oneself via emotions.
- Being able to relate to others' emotions is important too.
How can we get or increase E.Q? It can be developed and built upon. I honestly feel that life helps us to be more caring, but there are other ways, too.
how to do the lovely secret:
It can be created in childhood, by encouraging a child to wait for something, and be okay about it. Have you seen a child wait for something that they want to have? Like a bicycle for their birthday, or a trip to a place where there are exciting and scary rides. They get excited, jump, hop, dance, and just generally be happy. But if we just give everything to our children, without helping them learn how to wait for something, we are stunting their E.Q. We are taking away a chance to be happier. This does not apply to putting an icecream in front of a child and not letting them touch it, though!
It's also training for not relying on instant gratification for our happiness.
It is the same for us. We can learn happy anticipation, we can develop excitement as we wait for and work towards something. These emotions are like fuel which propels us forwards. It is impossible to sit still and not do something when these emotions are running through our being.
So, our dreams, our goals - how would you feel being excited about them happening?