Why, oh why, do I keep downsizing? I'm at it again. Off have gone all the belongings that I didn't need nor use.
I have a small library of books and "stuff" ready to go to the local Hospice shop. I feel very virtuous doing this, and from time to time, I do wonder if my belongings are causing overflow in the charity shop where they have been dropped. So much stuff! Where has it come from over the last two years? (this is actually a Divine and unanswerable question)
I am moving home
And why am I downsizing again? I am moving. I don't know where, and I've given notice to the property manager of wee cottage, so I am getting a little bit frantic, thinking of how I may end up frequenting various couches of my friends until I find somewhere. And, it does seem as though each place that I live in, gets smaller, and that leaves very little room for my quirky stuff.
We keep what matters
And also, we change. What matters to us, changes, over a lifetime. Plus, I came to realise that some of my "treasures" had mattered to me, only because in some way they were fulling a void. Some things like:
- family photos,
- artwork from one of my children
- jewellery from Mum
- presents from my family
- a little Wedgewood jewellery box that Dad and I gave to Nanna for her birthday, and then it was later bequeathed to me on one of my birthdays
The void that is left
What is this void? I suspect that it is probably similar for most of us: lack of some thing specific in our life. It could be anything, often there is no explanation for this.
Or, feeling that we are lacking within our personality, that we are not enough. I realised that some of my belongings were fulfilling this aspect. Weirdly, I never used those items, so out they must go.
Know that we are enough on our own
We all have times when we do not feel enough, I know that. Time, I feel, to get back into knowing that I am, indeed, enough. On my own, without props (except a bit of make-up, I'm not brave enough to go without that). In these times when we are encouraged to be everything, the feeling that we are not enough, is so easy a trap to fall into. Marisa Peer super life coach and hypnotherapist, frequently emphasises that we need to tell ourselves:
I am enough; I have enough.
I had an epiphany moment where I realised that some of my unusual and vintage books were 100% to do with two of my children, and that they reminded me of special days with them. Which was why when I had a clear out and passed them on to a charity shop, I would then always go out and buy them again. Several times over. Yes, really. But I have let some of them go, and I am determined that I will not repurchase them. I am feeling both brave and sad at the same time.
I have also sent any unused cosmetic stuff to the hospice. I am notorious in hanging onto these. Beautiful shoes that I never wore because they didn't fit properly, any lovely garments given by friends but didn't suit me, off they went too.
Fill the void created
But all of this biffing also leaves a void. And, nature abhors a vacuum. Meaning, if we don't fill "spaces", or vacuums, which have been created, by, in this case, downsizing, clearing out "stuff", then the law of nature is that, that space will be filled by the rhythm of life itself. And not always to our benefit.
So this is something that is good to ponder when we downsize:
What will we fill this void, the space created, with?
And finally, I just could not resist this: