The Void

                  

Tim Ferriss and The Void

I saw a comment by an interesting man, Tim Ferriss, who researches and writes about "things" to be and do: be healthier; exercise; diet; mind stuff and work only 4 hours a week.

He said that when we concentrate only on fixing the negative, we create a void. We should be focusing on the positive.

Tim is mega famous and rich, he is quoted by all of The Best People too, so I am assuming that he is correct. Actually, I really like what he says, and writes. Most of it is not Me, but I still appreciate and enjoy what he does.

So, what is he talking about? And how does it apply to us?  Do we even need it to apply to us?

Nature abhors a vacuum

For me, it always helps to simplify things, and not make things "special", but instead make them practical.  So, perhaps, we can look at this in a more practical and easier way:

A great fact of life, is that nature, in all of her forms and glory, does indeed abhor a vacuum. A vacuum being a void; an empty space. And something will come to fill that space, if we do not fill it in ourselves, for that it is how nature works.

People always say that something negative will always fill that space. But, will it? I have had many a time in my life, when things were not as they should have been, and I have not known what to do. I might have just waited to see what would happen, or ignored the situation, in the hope that it would get better.

And sometimes, things did indeed get better. But not always. When I didn't give the situation any "negative" energy, when I didn't fret, but just accepted the situation, and then withdrew my energy from it, things often just sorted themselves out. I should add, that in my heart, I always wish for the best outcome, and I do think that this helps.

our inner power

So, sometimes, I do feel that we need to let a situation run it's course. Sometimes it's just not up to us, to sort out other people's problems. When we keep doing this, we are taking away another's personal power: the inner power that they could have had by sorting out things for themselves.

how to make The Void

I noticed that whenever I kept focusing, in one way or another, on the negative, the problem, I left an empty space. A space which often was not mine to fill. 

I left that space free, empty. That space which was the void. I forgot that it was there. But, it was there. It was always waiting to be filled, with

• hope
• heart
• faith

and sometimes, I just never saw it. So it didn't get filled with the correct things. These days, I consciously let it be. I try to remember that this void is there, on the side, waiting for the correct things to happen, just being. And that my best intentions will help it grow.

                   

the space which should be there

Actually, I really filled up all of the available spaces, forgetting that there was this space that should have been, and I wonder if this was what Tim was referring to. I don't truly know, because I now can't find the article.

There was, at the start of the problem, a space. I see it as The Space, The Void, whereby I could have done something positive, about the situation.

Misuse of niceness

Now, I don't necessarily mean being nice and smiling happily, pretending that things are okay, whilst I tried to sort the problem out. No, I used to do that, and honestly, it always made the problems worse.

I found out the hard way in life, that nice isn't always the best option.

I wish it was. I really, totally, wish that it was. To be honest, that is still always my best option. Because it makes me feel better, the other person feel better, and it has more grace. More heart. More caring.

And I've always been mystified, and quietly angry, when people act and talk sweetly, whilst having poisonous intent. Being so nice. How could we not believe them? I just never know what to do, in these instances. And I really dislike myself for even being there.

negativity can be consuming

And, when a situation is negative, it fills up all of our space. Consumes our mind, controls our feelings, makes our heart heavy. And, sometimes it seems like a whirlwind of Other Bad Things also happening, to magnify the difficulty of it all.

All in all, the complete opposite of a beautiful void, waiting to be filled with good things. Instead, a big, sucking, negative, whirlwind. So overwhelming.

What can we do instead?

When nice isn't working, sometimes we have to not be mean, as such, but we need to be firm.  Resolute. It has taken me most of my life to stop being overly "nice".

But actually doing something about it; that's the key. Even if we just "let things be" and have faith and hope that things will work out. I don't think it matters if we are not "successful" in the way that we do something about a negative situation. Experience has taught me that:

• caring
• our intent

are what really matter. Even if we get it wrong, the damage to ourselves, and to others, is not as bad if we care, and our intent has honour and integrity.

Then we have the opposite of that void which we have filled up with stressing over our negative situation. 

We then have an empty space in which more positive things can happen; and grow. 

"It may not happen overnight, but it will happen" (to quote Rachel Hunter)