being independent

                               
                              (teenage years at Nanna's)

a special gift for life

One of the Special Gifts that my years spent living with Nanna, gave me, was independence.  This was totally new to me. Honestly, when there are four or more children, the eldest child, or children, simply have to pull their weight to help share the load. This is just the way that it is. The offshoot of this, is that the eldest do not have time for many things that other children get to do. And my early years most definitely were like this. I was Mum's right hand, so to speak. But, you know, Mum went to a tremendous amount of trouble to make sure that I did occasionally get to do some things that my younger sisters didn't. Sort of like a prize for getting older. And I one hundred percent appreciated this.

So when I went to live with Nanna, Granddad, Margaret, and Dad, having lots of free time was like being Set Free. From many things which go with being the eldest of many. I took as much advantage of this as I could. 

Firstly, there was the beach. Mum used to take us all to the beach. It was a really long way from our home, and we walked. Mum was just so amazing how she went out of her way to do these things, without money. But, at Nanna's, we overlooked the ocean. Trish my new best friend, and I, spent endless hours there, walking, playing in the ocean, cooking in oil to get a tan. As if I actually needed one, being quite brown already in those days!

getting to and from places

Trish and I walked home from Intermediate (middle) school, and then to and from High School, as often as we could. Trust me, these were not short distances. We laughed, told each other secrets, and had a wonderful time. And of course, as we got older, we got to flirt and wave at the boys. Ah, the innocence of being a teenager in those days. Sometimes we would stop at the local hamburger dive to get a small burger. Yep, hamburgers were not humungous in those days. Or a doughnut. From those magical memories, I still love small doughnuts.

If I needed to go anywhere, I had to walk, as Nanna and Granddad did not own a car. Nor did Dad. Or else we all took buses. Or walked and bused. When a (young teenage) child is responsible for getting themselves on and off a bus, train or boat, alone, they develop skills which last them a lifetime. Independence being one of them. I might add that I often would walk long distances to save my bus money for teenage treats.

With all of this new independence, I also had to be home at the right time, and this taught me another kind of personal responsibility. 

I alone, was responsible for myself

This also carried over into my behaviour, homework, and chores. It also taught me to be On Time for things.

a strong work ethic

I was expected to work part-time whilst still at school. I'm quite sure that this was actually Dad's decree, for no-one else pressured me into doing this. And, years after. with his new family, as the children came into their teens, he found work for them during their school holidays.

So, from the age of twelve, I semi-entered the Work Force. I still haven't left it. Hard work and I were already well acquainted all of those years ago, before I went to Nanna's, but now I was getting paid for it! Not much, but still, it was money. Something I had previously seldom had. And it was all mine. I didn't have to share it. 

For a few years, I worked weekends and school holidays at a Trish's father's shop. He made us work hard. And before me, Margaret had, too, for her best friend was Trish's older sister. It was a Milk Bar. A proper one, with booths, and a juke box. I thought I was so grown-up being there. Whenever her Dad wasn't here, we made ourselves outrageous milkshakes from cream, ice-cream and tons of flavoured sugar syrup. I loved creaming soda, and chocolate. 

Then after that, Dad found work for me in the school holidays serving in a bakery shop. He worked there, baking the bread and delivering the goods. I can honestly say that without Trish, and the creamshakes, it wasn't so enjoyable. And I also had to find my own way there and back. No hand-outs nor help from Dad, but my parents and Grandparents, each, in their way, inadvertently taught me that Life was not about being given things and having everything done for me. I am so grateful for this. 

There is tremendous freedom in being independent. In being one's own surety.