legacy

I have been reflecting about legacies

they are so important

The above photo popped up in facebook this week. My Mum is on the left. I miss her still. It's been over twenty years since she passed over. Her children, grand children, and the great grandchildren who knew her, we all talk of her fondly. She left us all a legacy of a hard working, kind, full of laughter, and very wise person. She touched the lives of so many. Had many friends, like Val, above. Quietly helped out many women. Mum was her own person.

Mum had eight children, seven of whom were girls. She had to learn to be strong as a young mother. Had to go to work in the afternoons and evenings to support her children. They were not great jobs, they were hard physical work. Initially she was a cleaner for many years. I have vivid memories of us going to work with her in the evenings when I was just six. So obviously she couldn't afford a sitter.  There were five girls at this stage, one was just a baby. I had to keep us quiet and still in a cluster in a corner whilst she cleaned. We went home late when she had finished. Night work. Long walk to the bus, bus, ferry to town. Then the same home. Many years later, when I was living with Nanna, one of my sisters would go to work at nights with her when Mum was pregnant, and do the heavy work.

One of her great-great-children, little Toby who is a very big four year old now, (and my beloved great grandson) was shown the photo of Mum, and another of her with Poppa Joe (my Stepfather) and I realised just how important it was for these wee ones to know that they are part of a whole.  They are from Somewhere. From Someone, several Someones, going back in time. People and places that they don't know, but hear of. And Toby found out that his Nannie (my eldest), she had a Nanna too. And Nannie and Mum loved their Nanna just as he loves all of his. Such big concepts when we are so little. 

I vividly remember meeting my Nanna's parents when I was young. I knew, I just knew, that somehow I was a part of them, and that they were a part of me. My young mind didn't understand lots, but those things I did know in that moment. I also knew that I was special to them because of the way they smiled at my sisters and I, and the love in their voices when they spoke to us.  

Years later, in my when I was twelve, I went to Grandad's Mother's house. I remember this still. Her smile. Her garden. I felt so lucky to be doing this. Gran Inch had a serenity that only comes from someone who lives their devout Path. On meeting Gran, I was inspired to truly believe at that young age of twelve, that when I grew old (!) that I was supposed to be kind and smiley like Gran, too.

These decisions that we make in our young minds, based on what we see, feel, and hear, influence our lives so strongly. Often we don't realise. 

young Mum, probably in her teens   

When I studied te Reo Maori last year, we each did our family lineage, and we were to choose a parent and go back through generations. I chose Mum and her female line. We had to go back to our great-great grandparents time. Which was about the time that many settlers were coming to New Zealand, in the mid to late 1800s. This was fascinating. Luckily we now have Ancestry.com. It makes it so much easier.  

It helped me see who I was.

It is important to acknowledge those who have gone before us. We carry their DNA, and experiences. In this way, they live on. As well, of course, 

forever in our hearts