family health: the four pillars

 The four pillars of health,

of our life.

Family life is one of these pillars.

But it actually is more than that.

I love this family photo, taken for my Dad's 80th, not long before he passed away. And it's only half of my family - there is all of Mum's side too. Sadly, as time goes on and we get our own family, we do tend to lose track of everyone.

p.s. I'm the lady with dark hair and bright red top, sitting next to Dad. My top was made by my sister Lorena who is sitting on the other side of him. She was Trelise Cooper's runway seamstress for many years. 

One of the very lovely aspects of living in New Zealand, is the emphasis on people being of utmost importance. All of us. And this is what this pillar is about. These four pillars, or dimensions, of health, are Maori in origin.

Family in this context, includes:

• family and relatives
• friends
• work associates
• neighbours (community)

An importance of all of us mattering, and everyone else being of some connection to each of us. Even our social welfare system is very family orientated. Lucky us.

This dimension is an area of our life where we can get it so right, and so wrong. The thing is, as you go through life - which I have been doing for a l-o-n-g time, it truly is people that are the most important. We are a family of humankind, all so similar, yet each so unique. Our lives are interwoven with each other. Sometimes for a short period. Othertimes it's life long. We leave deep impressions on each other. Happily, much of this can be love. 

Naturally, there are always people with whom we do not wish to associate, for some reason or another. And, in adverse situations, such as people who are abusive to oneself - this is definitely part of family health. For, we are healthier and happier when we remove ourselves from such persons.

So, what can we do in our lives to enhance the stability and strength of this pillar? Without it being steadfast, then how can we be complete?  How can our children feel safe when this pillar is not given the importance it deserves? 

I know that as we go through a lifetime, things happen. Often not good. We cannot undo them, but we can rebuild as best as we can, the loveliest of the threads which held us all together.

One of these ways is with aroha, which means love. Love is at the heart of this pillar. And it is such a powerful force. 

Another is manaaki. This has a range of meanings but if we think of it as hospitality to one another, and to oneself, this is powerful indeed. Another meaning is "embrace". I love this. It's not just about hugging, which is fantastic, too. In our hearts and by word and action we can embrace one another, with love. And embracing all of oneself too. For how can we have a strong four pillars, if we do not include oneself? 

Looking at this pillar, do we need to strengthen it? What have we been forgetting to do? It is such a hearts and minds area of life.

** link to a small piece about my learning Te Ao Maori (the world of Maori) here

** links to the four pillars of health: here, here, and 

** a heart based post here

** and of course my yoga blog with a pose which is a real heart-opener here

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