Socialising

                                                                               

Inspiration to socialise

I was reading about a woman who has, for some months, been using public transport, to get out and about. She has a car, and often used to bike into her local town. But now, she instead, has chosen to use buses.

Where I live, you can, instead of using your car:

• walk
• take trains
• bus
• or alternate between these to get to many of your destinations

This is something that I really wanted to do, but haven't. Why have I not done it?

• I haven't been organised enough to do it
• You have to allow time to do this
• I have also been using the rain as an excuse not to. But it's not always raining.

I am going to get into working this into my life, even if it takes me a while to do so:

• If I want to see my Grand-daughter who lives in an inner city suburb, I can walk to the bus around the corner from where I live, bus to the local shops, get a train to my destination. Hop out of the train, walk across the tracks, and I'm at my Grand-daughter's. Or, just walk to the shops to get the train
• I can walk to the local shops a couple of times a week for some groceries
• I can walk and bus to the local mall to do chores there

When I was growing up, we did indeed walk everywhere. Plus catch buses. It was expected that we would do this. No wonder we were all so slim, and seldom got sick. (and yes, I do know... this was a long time ago...)

So, just how is this socialising?

Ah, the crux of this post.

• The woman whom I was reading about, said it was so that she could be amongst people
• meet people
• interact with others

Now, this is an internationally famous author, (Monica Grenfell), who simply decided to do this. I'm willing to bet that she doesn't actually need to have more people in her life.

A cure for loneliness

But I can tell you, that doing all this, is a great cure for loneliness. And for when we realise that we are being too insular (which I can definitely be). What I would do, when I was at home too much, and hadn't talked to anyone for a few days, was:

• go to the library and work on my computer
• go over the road to the local cafe. I made many lovely new friends at that cafe
• walk in the local park
• go to the local beach, even if it was just to hang out
• go to a local weekend outdoor brunch place by the sea, and eat a delicious french crepe

I wasn't lonely, as such, but I definitely was being too isolated!

People who need people

Barbra Streisand has an old song about this...

               "people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world".

I forget the rest of the song, but I do believe that no person is an island. We need one another. We not only need each other:

• for company
• for giving and receiving friendship
• and for love

              But also for skills. The Art of Being Able To Interact With Others. True socialising.

Children need to mix with others, too

Not just at school, but in many situations. In my early years, I was the eldest of five little girls. We only played together for many years, because it was just too much for Mum when a hoard of kids came other to play. Understandable. Actually, she did try to do this, but it was so hard to do. And I am in no way criticising Mum; she was an amazing mother.

As everyone got older, of course this changed. Each child had friends of their own. But, and for me in those early years, and this was the important part, I did not know how to mix with people, even those of my own age, nor how to forge friendships.

Because I was not socialised.

I had a period of my life when I went to live with Nanna, and there, I was expected to be able to  talk to people of all ages. I soon learnt!! It wasn't easy for me, but it was a learned skill, from those lovely years, for which I am still so incredibly grateful.

I had become socialised. And, it did indeed make my life easier.

                       





ps the family grew........


                      
                           

Still Spring-ing

                        

Why I love spring

Actually I love autumn too, but for different reasons. But I am quite serious about spring, in a quiet poking fun at myself, kind of way. I have these things that I enthusiastically do, each spring. Because, well, it's spring!! And also, I'm clearing the decks for summer.

But why do I love spring? Probably for the same reasons as everyone else:

• summer is almost here
• that darned rain stops, or slows down. Here, our winter rain, as opposed to our spring or summer rain, is often cold, fierce, and windy, so it pelts down sideways. Hence my glee and relief when it calms down.
• we stop freezing
• the sun is out!

Not brilliant reasons. But, to me, spring is a time of growth; of new life

new beginnings

New births in the nature kingdom. Not just animals, but beautiful blossoms, amazing spring flowers. With my eldest children, we lived alongside a wide country (semi country, really) lane, and we had horse paddocks behind us. Every spring, up would come daffodils in that lane, and in the paddocks. The lane was almost crowded out by them. A riot of colour. So special.

For me, winter is a time of planning, and sorting things out. Then, come spring, we have our plans sorted to start on, for whatever reason. Or even just have an idea of what we are going to do, the direction on which we would like to take.

everything feels lighter, so consequently, so do we

And I don't think that it's just the weather. That old saying "a spring in your step"? That's what this beautiful season does to me, so I'm assuming that it's the same for everyone else. Being that we are all, in so many ways, quite similar.

Maybe I feel this way

• because of the new life bursting forth
• there is more blue sky, which makes us feel so good
• the days are getting longer, so that we have more time to get things done, do more with our life
• it's not so cold. For me, it just makes it easier to get things done, when the days are longer, and I'm not so cold
• I notice that I also get out and about more

for me, spring is the season of hope

and with all of this, for me, I have a feeling of New Hope, when spring has burst forth. I eagerly await it (or is that I desperately await it?), near the end of August, as September is spring in New Zealand. And that hope, inside of me, is for everyone, especially my family. I have great hope that all will be the best for them.

Practical stuff

I do practical sorting-out-life things, too, come spring.

• spring cleaning. Sorting stuff out. Putting stuff away. Seasonal cleaning (not quite into that yet, to be honest)
• revisiting my diet (as in my previous post)
• enthusiastically pulling out my spring clothes. I am now into a single layer, on top, and bottom, with a warm-ish hoodie for when it's cold. Still long-sleeved and too warm for summer, but less than winter
• I ruthlessly biff any winter clothes which I didn't wear. I didn't wear them because I didn't like them or they were unflattering
• I decide on a "look" for spring with clothes. With what I already have. As I'm saving for some essentials (not clothes) I cannot spend too much on new clothes. 

                                              Ah, yes. Spring.

Spring has again, sprung

                                 

Spring is here

I can actually feel it, in the air., Or, is it in the ether? I'm not sure which. On a recent drive into the countryside, you could see the lambs happily running and bouncing around. Frolicking, I believe. Lots of calves. Spring flowers bursting forth. And pollen. Darned pollen. but hey, who cares, because: spring is here!!

le spring regime

Time to move with the seasons, methinks. I have decided to follow a very doable system of:

a diet overhaul:

• eat three times a day. Which means that I have to eat enough at each meal, which was what I was doing a few months ago.
• a fortified muesli for breakfast. equal amounts of oat bran (because that's the sort of oats that I already have) and wheat germ. I love wheat germ, to me it is just so delicious. LSA, protein powder (6 - 10 grams of protein), a couple of powders, not much: berries and greens. Soak in whatever type of milk that you like. A piece of fruit. Yum. Adjust all to taste.
• I'm intending to make lunch my main meal which will be fish mostly, plus a green vegetable or two.
• and dinner will be vegetable soup for a wee while. With a small amount of cheese and bread. Actually really filling because at present I'm using root vegetables, including beetroot.
• I'll make adjustments, maybe even change it as needed, as I go along
• water (this is where I'm slack)

short daily bursts of exercise, for spring, health, and toning:

• I do a small yoga routine each morning, poses, breathing, meditation. Not earth shattering, but doable. Nothing to boast about, or even really admit to. But, mostly, I do it. As a yoga teacher, I have known so many friends who were unable to maintain daily yoga. This, I feel, is because they made it too hard to do, simply by making it too long. Or too complicated.
• short, brisk walks. I live in suburbia, and I do admit that have found it a bit hard to get inspired, strolling around the roads, past lots of houses. I have to get over this.
• short bursts of body toning. Which I had been doing a few times a week, but now I'll do, for example, legs and buttocks one day, upper body the next. Abs, probably three minutes each day. So, that's more, but in short doses, it's doable.
• move briskly about the day (which makes me feel that I'm doing something. Hilarious really, to think like that.

I need to do the diet and exercise overhaul, even just for health reasons. Especially as the weight loss came to a grinding halt. A new, simple, approach, is clearly needed here. And I fully expect wonderful things like toning up and getting stronger physically.

I am also feeling that I need to build myself up. As in immunity:

A friend makes amazing products. Some are made for the individual, but two are available in a few places. I managed to be advised as to what I needed. (lucky me)

• I'm taking a personalised lung builder-upper. Amazingly, I could feel results after just one dose!
• and a vitamin C.

So, that's it, at present. To be continued, built upon, or changed, as needed.

happy thoughts

                                             
                                         Pixie: the ultimate in happy thoughts

"happy thoughts make happy molecules": Deepak Chopra

I love this. It reminds me how I have been happy and healthy, but, at times, I have fallen prey to viruses & colds because I was having an unhappy time. I don't actually feel that when we get some sort of malaise, that it's always "all in the head". No, of course I don't. To me that's just too silly, and too blamey. Some times we do get a virus for practical reasons.

For example:  I got the worst virus of my life from a new flatmate, some years ago. She coughed and sneezed over everything: including toothbrushes, towels, soap, tea towels, dishes, furniture, door handles ... everything. When I finally got that darned virus-from-hell, I realised that it had been inevitable.

Other times when I have been "low", I have been immensely susceptible to "catching" something.

How can that be? Why does this happen? Is it the universe being mean? Or reflecting back to us? I find this sort of attitude too grandiose. Sometimes things are just more simplistic than that. And, I also don't like the reflection attitude. I feel that it's just a wee bit too self absorbed. How can everything be about me? It doesn't make sense.

I do like to remove myself from the psycho babble. And just so you know... I was around it for many years. It made me feel very uncomfortable. I saw too many people pointing the finger of blame at people if they were sick. I had it pointed at me, many a time, over trivialities.

And, for goodness sake, this was an excellent way to make another person unwell. And unhappy. In a study which I read, it was found that unhappy thoughts do lower immunity. I am assuming here that it's a lot of unhappy thoughts.

Whereas, positive thoughts created more antibodies. And it had to do with the brain. These happier thoughts, we have them when we have more activity in a front part of our brain (prefrontal cortex). And when the activity is there, we have more antibodies. This tells me that we can help ourselves, by deliberately being more positive.

And, we all have times in our life, when this is just like pushing water uphill. I have a couple of wee tricks:

• I remove myself from people who make me feel bad about myself
• I go outside and get some "blue": blue sky. This, I know, gives me more serotonin, the calm, happy, and healing neurotransmitter. It sends happier impulses through our body. 
• I remind myself to stand taller, and look "up". Both make me feel happier
• If I'm sitting, I stand. I move, I change my physical body stance. Try it, it works for me. 
• I make myself smile
• I have faith that things will get better 
• I go and see Pixie and have licks, kisses, and hugs

Of course, you will have your own tricks. which I would love to hear, and try.

How to build up your health

                       

Why do I need to build up my health? Or, why does anyone else, for that matter?

I gaily traversed through this winter, so pleased that I barely got sick. Mostly, it was due to an anaemia problem that I have, sort of disappearing. (I worked hard to get this to happen!!) Anaemia made me very run-down and really lowered my immune system. Now I just keep an eagle eye on it, throughout each day, and do whatever I need to do, to get the iron levels back up. Iron. That's my problem. Lack of iron, at different times in my life. And I lack it because my body can have problems absorbing it, and storing it. I keep a supply of an amazing iron-plus-other-stuff supplement on hand, and it's the best that I have ever used.

Plus, I was actually doing things to actively prevent getting anaemic, and also to prevent getting sick. I do a barely known yoga breathing exercise to cool my body, and amazingly, this has helped no end. Certainly, when I am overheated, not as in summer-hot, but as in body-too-hot, I am inclined to be lacking in iron, and/or, sick. Or, both. So, I do something to prevent both.

First things first

I have never met sometime who was totally free from any physical things that they were prone to, and these, I believe, are often the key to staying healthy, and also getting healthy:

• do what we need to do, to keep our body moving along efficiently. 
• Deal with, and keep an eye on, any physical tendencies.

Keep on track with them

So, getting back to my iron-thingey, I found out many years ago, that iron is highest about 7am each morning. Maybe there are new findings, but I have stuck with that. So, I aim to be up and about before 7am to do a small amount of yoga, which is either:

• for maintaining health: some sun salutes and a couple of easy poses, breathing, etc
• for recovery from being run down or unwell: some flexibility moves, especially for shoulders and hips, where we store a lot of tension. I'm not a naturally supple person, I have to work at it, and these sort of movements, as trivial as they are, help get me back into my grove

Either for 10 - 15 minutes, with the above exercise. That's it. These are for keeping my body ticking over nicely. And I do the breathing when I'm up to it, for recovery. What I do here, is not for the body-beautiful, nor for any other reason other than keeping on top of things. I find that it is  easier to have something that I do, regularly, that physically, helps me maintain on a level that I can keep fitting into my life. Easily.

find out what suits you best, for maintaining your health, and for building it up, when needed. Keep it simple, and succeed (Kiss formula)

Take time to recuperate when you've not been well

And, of course, as a yoga teacher, I do know not to do exercise when I've got a temperature. I rest, instead. And sleep. And I don't lie there doing yoga techniques. If I'm well enough to do that, then I'm well enough to be up and about, in my reasoning.

To build up our health, it helps to notice what's going on, physically

It's really worth it, to notice what is happening with your body. When I was younger, I really bought into the modern and yoga thing whereby, if you were unwell, then shock, horror!! The universe was supposedly mirroring something back to me. Or, I felt that I "deserved" it.

When I stopped doing that silly tendency to analyse what was happening in my head, and looked instead to what was happening with my body, my health improved. I looked at physical evidence, instead.

What did I look at? My physical patterns, which tell us so much. Which ones? I just do the easy ones:

• how much sleep that I need, and the quality of sleep
• how my diet affects me. So, that's what we eat at certain times; and how does it work with our body?

And I find that some things affect us physically, mentally, and emotionally, too

• other people. Toxic people are truly best avoided (this was totally one of my life's biggest lessons)
• our environment. This is our home, and our work environment, mostly. 

There will be more factors for each of us, like responsibilities, money, family. But the process for dealing with any thing that impacts our health, is the same. It is unbelievably simple, and involves a bit of trial and error:

Find out what suits you. And just do it. Make it doable (KISS)

On making life better

                                                                             

I am looking today at making my life better. And why? Is that all I ever do?

Well, no. I actually, mostly, just live my life, as it is, and be present as much as I can. Of course, who does that 24/7? Not me, for sure, because it's just too overwhelming. And exhausting. Sometimes we  just need to let go, and surrender to the flow of whatever is going on.

The busy flow of my life suddenly ground to a halt

I had been so busy. Life was exciting. Getting Things Done. People to see, things to do. Then suddenly, overnight, it all ground to an inglorious halt.

I aim to do my best, as often as I can. But today, I can't. I just can't. This is the fifth day of me surrendering to the flow, of a horrible bug which is whipping it's way around the country. Apparently, it's not only in Auckland, but  also around Hobbiton, in the mighty metropolis of Matamata. (so I know it's an important bug. I mean - Hobbiton?) (my son did a stint working at a bar in the Shire, he loved working there)

                                                                        

So, it is comforting to know that I am not alone. I have been in bed and slept. Or, I had lain on the sofa, in a stupor, going through boxes of tissues, watching youtube and netflix movies. I think it's called binge watching. I don't think that there are many left that I want to half-pie watch. And I suspect that I actually slept through most of them.

First steps to getting better

Today, I am teetering around the house a bit, trying to sort myself out. Changing my sheets. Putting away My Stuff. Swaying as I make some soup. Being Brave. Being a martyr. Sorting things out. Making life better.

Why do this?

Because I am an eternal optimist. I am clearing the decks for, hopefully, tomorrow, when I shall be ready to be better. I am being prepared. I might be a bit premature in my hopes here, but, still, I'm going to be ready for the day, any day soon, when I feel much better.

People who have a better life

                                                                                  

Who are these people who have a better life?

(happiness comes into it, too)

Well according to psychology researchers, it has to do with personality traits. And, specific traits, in particular.

Here are some of the main ones, plus my own (unsolicited) comments:

enthusiasm, extroversion, outgoing, laugh a lot

All under the same umbrella. So obvious, I think. I actually am not an extrovert, and, as an adult, I had to learn how to be outgoing, how to socialise. So I do know that it's possible. I've also noticed that my friends who can find humour and smiles, when life is not good, they are the ones who get through hardship easier. As a healer and clairvoyant, I have observed that under all our problems, lies happiness, so I do think that happiness is like a birthright. But, sometimes we need to do something to lighten our load, so that we can be happier.

Here are some of the things that worked for me:

• I deliberately aim to be more outgoing. I make myself go and meet people, and spend time with them.
• Some years ago, I deliberately, v-e-r-y slowly, so as not to cause more drama, removed myself, bit by bit, from "friends" who were not nice. Who didn't make me feel good about myself.
• I also removed myself from working with people who were not nice. I'm self-employed, so I can do this. But, I have had times in my life when I just had to "suck it up", and handle bad work situations.
• I make myself look nice early each day. This could be said to be superficial, and maybe it is, however it makes me feel better, more outgoing, less self absorbed.

low levels of being neurotic

I had a chuckle about this, for who amongst us, is not a bit neurotic about something? But really it means something like being less self absorbed. Whew! I always think of this as being a young person's problem. I remember vividly the day that I stopped being all about me: I gave birth. (mothers will chuckle at this). 

The suggestion is that being self conscious, overwhelmed, easily discouraged, actually means that we do not have a good relationship with ourselves.  Myself, I think that we all go through periods of this. And come out the other side. It seems to me, that when we feel good about ourselves in and heart and emotions sort of way, then we like ourselves more. Simply because we feel better about our self.

industrious, conscientious, getting things done

I am not a happy punter when I have nothing to do. I like to Get Things Done. I find housework a bit overwhelming, but I do it. However, there are so many meaningful aspects to my life! But, I must confess, I made it this way. It wasn't easy, but I just kept trying things over the years until I found what works for me. I'm not there yet (is anyone ever?). 

This is what I insist on fitting into my life, what I am conscientious about:

1. family. I am so blessed to have children, grandchildren, a great grandchild, and a very large extended family
2. friends. I have many friends, I make a point of making time to catch up with each of them. Our friends are important. 
3. work. This is what I do: 

• I am a yoga teacher, but, from choice I cut down to 2 private classes a week. 
• I keep in touch with quite a few people whom I trained to be yoga teachers. 
• I write my 2 blogs, which I love doing. 
• I do Maori healing, in a clinic one night a week, and occasionally at home. 
• I regularly attend workshops on Maori spirituality.       
• I teach the odd yoga workshop. 
• I give clairvoyant readings

I am busy. But I know that I could do more, without being neurotic about it. You would have your own list, which would, of course, be different. 

compassion, kindness

For me, this goes back to first becoming a mother. A well of kindness, love, and compassion springs forth from within when we have a child. It doesn't have to be a child that we give birth too. It is a child whom we love. Actually I include fur and feather babies here!!!

My mother, grandmother and my aunt whom I lived with in my teens, were kind. How lucky was I to be around them! They each inspired me to resolutely be kind. No matter what. I did know, even at a young age, that being this way, made me have a better life. And happier.

And, to overcome my shyness, as a young adult, I learnt to take an interest in others. I aim not to be nosy (I learnt the hard way not to be nosy....), it's more of a connection thing. And it did help me so much in dealing with being shy and naturally introverted. Which naturally leads onto the next aspect of a better life:

being curious about life, the world; learning new things

I always feel that this is also a youthfulness attribute, for, watching toddlers, children, teens, they have an insatiable desire to know what happening. And with it, they keep learning.

We can too. I am not an intellectual, my learning nosiness is with The Unknown aspects of life, The Hidden Secrets. I am always eager to discover more. 

There are so many things that we can learn about in our life. at any stage. And when something grabs our interest, we do not have to get "down"... because we are too busy to be that way! Our attention has gone away from being "down" to being interested, being excited.

Perhaps if you do not have something meaningful in this area, you could start to discover what grabs you intellectually? For me, my interests, are more to do with my heart. Head, heart, body? What does it matter, as long as it's your learning passion.