Wednesday, 16 January 2019

letting go

                                  Related image    

Letting go

Letting go of what?  Of that which no longer serves oneself. I am at that stage. Yet again. I suspect that we all do it, from time to time. Sometimes knowingly. Other times. without even realising it.

2019 choices

I was thinking about what choices and focus to make for 2019. Whilst I realise that  probably everyone else has already done that, I hadn't. I knew what I wanted to do, but was unsure with some things about how to get them going, do them, and maintain.

Then, I realised that I just had to let go with a lot of things. Then I would have time and space to do what I what like to do in 2019. Create a void. A space for things to happen. Instead of that space being filled up with whatever was blocking me, my life. Or, lets be honest, whatever I was doing that allowed the blocking. 

And instead, cast my fate to the winds. Again. Sometimes it seems we just have to let go and step (bravely) into an abyss of uncertain outcomes. Yet knowing that it's the right thing to do.   

We don't always get what we want..... (rolling stones)

I am letting go of worrying about the outcome for quite a few things. I just can't go on always placating, doing my best, in some situations which never end and are just so exhausting, and we get so tired. I feel that this depletes our joi de vivre. Our life force seems to lessen. We compromise ourselves, which just doesn't make us feel good on an inner level. I don't want that anymore. Time to let go. Time to fly.

A close friend was saying how she deeply believes in things working out the way that they are meant to. I really appreciated this. It came at just the right time. As things do. Good and not so good. With beneficial outcomes. Or not.

So that's it. Let go. Let things work out. It's not always about ourselves.

But still, for us all, (talking about moi here), it can be difficult. It is in our nature to want, hope, that things work out a certain way. Especially when our heart is involved. I know that my heart is in many things: things that I love; that I do in my life; situations; people. I so want the best for everyone and every thing, not just moi-self (new franco-english word here). But who am I to decree that someone else's life, or a situation, should be a certain way? It's not a moi-iverse (me universe, where it's all about oneself).

The space of not giving any energy

I am privileged, and lucky, to study with a Maori healer. He often talks about not giving things which are not positive, any energy. By holding onto our own energy. Holding onto our own integrity. Centre oneself. This stops us "feeding" something. And this creates that void. For the magic to happen. For things to work themselves out, which is of course, the real magic. Then we don't "have" to do anything. Destiny does it for us. 

Whew! Time to take all this advice into my life, methinks. Look out, 2019.


Tuesday, 8 January 2019

how to have better skin

                  Related image

Better than what? Better than what it is now.

But first a disclaimer

This is about having beautiful skin without having botox, fillers, or face surgery. I have wrinkles and some sunspots. It is impossible to live in New Zealand and not eventually have some sun damage. No matter how careful one has been (talking about myself here).

The sad truth about skin

  • we get older. And the effects of our life start to show. Yep, they really do. People today have access to so much info and products to protect the skin: use them to prevent and delay the ole sun damage.
  • the environment affects our skin. This is really annoying. And so true. If, like me, one third of your life was around heavy smokers, it does affect our skin. Just as it does for smokers. Smoking is fantastic for getting tough, leathery skin, and wrinkles.
  • what we eat affects our skin. Sugar is about the worst. Makes us puffy and saggy. Which is bad news for us sugar lovers. And, this is just an observation, greasy food - eeks, it wrecks our skin. This is disturbing, if, like me, you love good old fish and chips. And processed food? With added chemicals? Don't even think about it. Those added unpronounceable bits and pieces, and mysterious additives which have sneaky numbers so that you don't really know what they are? Think of them as instant toxins which age you. Not just your skin, but the whole body. 
  • what we drink affects our skin. Too much cafe lattes do not seem to create lovely skin. Which is, of course, unfair. And lets not forget alcohol. Which I always do. Forget it, that is, as I have always been a non-drinker. Alcohol does not seem to have a good effect on skin. 
  • our state of health affects our skin. Another unfair thing. I have a blood disorder, and I can tell you that it really does affect my skin. Most adversely. When I have lots of blood and iron, I have lovely olive skin and seem to have fewer wrinkles. When aforesaid blood and iron are low, I look really pale, pasty and wrinkly. Not a good look.

I think that I have to stop here, as it is all getting a tad depressing. 

What can we do to get better skin?

Quite a bit, actually. And none of it is rocket science.

  • increase our vitality. I don't mean the ability to rush around, or be extremely extroverted. Or passionately emotional. Vitality is something else: it shines from within. Like an energy. We could call it life-force. Yogis would call it prana. 
  • emotions can lower our vitality. When we are troubled, our life-force gets depleted, and it shows. When we are happy, or calm, our life-force can flow more easily. And crabby people are most unattractive, even if they have beautiful features. (I was going to say that being a horrible person makes them ugly, but that could be a bit mean) 
  • exercise thickens the skin, and we get less wrinkles. Oh, and increases our vitality. 
  • fresh food has more life force than food with nasty bits added
  • protein slows down sagging
  • vitamin d. The sun is a great source of life-force. It doesn't have to be high noon sun. Going for a promenade early morning or later in the afternoon is perfect.
  • foods which create good skin are oils like nuts and seeds, avocados. And eating colourful foods like greens and yellows and orange and purple colours, make our skin glow. Some even help with a natural form of sun protection. Not complete protection, no, but some.
  • "our skin is like a flower, it needs watering": Jerry Hall

What can we do on the outside?

Other than inject stuff into ourselves until we end up looking really weird and scary.

Have a good skin care routine. It does not have to cost a lot of money. It just has to be consistent and relevant to you and your skin. In the morning, if you do nothing else, at least put on sunscreen. In the evening, take off any gunk, like lovely make-up, and if you don't wear make-up, there will be environmental gunk on your face, so it does need cleansing. For most of my life I just let my skin breathe overnight. Unadorned. It worked for years. And then it didn't. Because I got older, and needed some form of overnight TLC. 

So, that's it: be a nice person; do some exercise; drink water; eat fresh food; have a basic skin care routine. All easy peasy.

Tuesday, 1 January 2019


                          Image result for intuitive woman
(sometimes we just need to listen to wise women's words)

I really don't know why I haven't already blogged about this, on my Unique You site. Especially as I am a clairvoyant, and, well, intuition obviously plays a big part in my life. And sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I just don't want to do the intuition thing. And other times I forget that my intuition is literally screaming at me, but, alas, for some mysterious reason, I am ignoring it. As we all do. So often.

Within a few weeks period, I can quickly recall some intuition "stuff", that I was slow on the uptake of:

  • wondering why I couldn't get going on a writing project. This was causing me such angst. One day, it came to me in a flash, so to speak. I wasn't being "me" as I wrote. That was why it wasn't working out. So, now, it's back to the drawing board to rewrite it as "me". 
  • I also realised that on my yoga blog, I also wasn't being me. I was writing for a niche audience, because that's what I'm supposed to do. Right? Wrong. I was so-o-o confining myself, and wasn't, yet again, fully expressing myself. I really should have been doing what I intended, all along, with that blog. It was supposed to be about spirituality. That is my real niche. So I've "come out" again, on that blog. In no way do I believe that spirituality is confined to yoga. Gosh, no. It's all bigger than what we think, the whole spiritual thing. And I have actually been on another deeply spiritual path, rather than yoga, for the past ten years. 
  • I kept thinking, for some time, that I would arrive home, and one of my nephews would be there. Which was weird, because he was supposed to be living in another town. Chuckle. Of course he was living not too far away, in the town where I live. 
  • I kept being very nervous, and stressed. So, being me, I started to wonder if I was becoming paranoid. Nope. It was just someone repeatedly lying to me. This is the thing with intuition. Sometimes we need to look at when we are having troubling feelings. In what situations? Who are we with? Honestly, I do believe that we all need to learn to trust what our feelings are trying to tell us. Feelings are such a valuable form of intuition. Yet they are often ignored. And I do believe that part of it is that we just do not want to believe, or face, some things. After all, we are all so human.
  • I woke this morning just after a dream of me doing yoga poses, such as downward dog. It's quite a strenuous pose, and I hadn't been able to do it for two weeks, due to a medical mishap, hospital, and a recovery which seemed to be taking ages. (yes, I do want everything done by yesterday, including recovery. And no, that's not intuition) So, I got up and did a bit of yoga. Not too much as I'm still a bit weak, but, hey, yesterday I was not my best, so I was really pleased with myself this morning. And strangely, a whole lot of other things that I was trying to sort out, became very clear to me. (thank you, horrid downward dog pose)
  • I couldn't get a dear friend out of my mind. For weeks. We finally chatted on the phone. Yes, she had been having such a hard time. I wish I'd followed my intuition, and rung sooner. 
  • Another friend, whom I'd not seen for a while, I suddenly started feeling that I needed to contact her. Yep, she was having hard to manage things happen, too. I made sure I caught up. 
  • I'm house sitting, and I started to worry about burglars. I'm actually very good at worrying (little joke here). The house behind where I live got burgled. 

An intuitive 2019

There are so many stories that we all could recall, of ignoring our intuition, our knowing, our feelings, our heart. I would like to recommend that 2019 is a year of listening to all of these. And having a better life, in the process.

Friday, 28 December 2018

2019 here we come

                   Image result for dreaming by the sea


We are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers
And sitting by desolate streams;
World losers and world forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.

Yet another year. Gone. And it only seems as though it came and went in a heart beat. I think that it's like that: we never quite realise how quickly time passes us by. And, in doing so, we forget to appreciate just how precious time is.
I know that I do this. I forget. Why? Why do I not always grab Life and run with it each day? And, I suspect that I am not the only one who does this. 

I hope, sincerely to change this, for me, this year. Grab Life by the horns, so to speak, and live each moment fully. Whether it's just chilling, doing nothing, or going after my dreams.

I truly feel that in 2018, I put my own dreams on hold. So, in 2019, I intend to go after them. With joy and laughter. I have been quietly "setting the stage" for this. Getting things ready. Making decisions. Visualising. Being resolute. Because. Because sometimes, in going after our dreams, those things that our heart is pushing us to do, part of the "going after", is being firm with oneself. 

We all have our own story. Our own Path. I know that, for me, my heart urges me to do some things. And my gut, which is also such a big source of intuition, it pushes me to move away from some things. So that I then can follow my heart.  So that there is space for that, so that my dreams are no longer just desolate dreams.

I secretly think that this is truly the hard part: making that space. That heart-doing space. Sometimes it can be hard moving away from the obstacles. Especially if it ever involves other people. But that's not really what it's about. It's also about giving them their own space. Which, of course, is special to do. Letting them live their own story. 

So, amongst what I would like to do in 2019, this post is actually more about what is behind what I would like to do.

What is "behind" you? Food for thought, indeed.

Tuesday, 18 December 2018

on being thrifty

                   Image result for papatuanuku goddess
                           Papatuanuku, our Earth Mother

Why be thrifty?

I confess that I am somewhat careful with money. And yet, I am often incredibly generous with what I have, when I have anything. A paradox, to be sure.

Why would I be this way? And not just with money, in relations to myself. I learnt, when I was twelve and went to live with my grandparents, and aunt who was less than two years older than me, that:

  • money and acquisitions are not synonymous with being happy or fulfilled
  • I learnt that how one's life was lived, was what made us have a better life
  • and that if we want to be affluent, it is generally not done by spending money unnecessarily
  • that if we look after what we have, and use what we have, we usually do not need to "get" more
  • I learnt to only buy what I needed, that looked good, and was quality, so that clothes lasted
  • I still live by all of this. I always have

Having said all of this, there have been many times in my life when being thrifty was a 100% necessity, when my income was extremely low.

What are the benefits of being thrifty?
  • for me, it means having a less cluttered life. Which I genuinely prefer
  • it's because I am careful with money that I am able to be generous where possible
  • I am independent, as I pay my own way

It's not just about the money

Gosh no. No, it's not. Not at all.

It's also about not trashing Papatuanuku, Mother Earth. Having respect for her and her gifts that she gives so freely, as we journey through life.

It's about ecology. Wanting our children and their children, and everyone's children, and the other creatures of our planet, to have a safe environment to grow up in.

It's about being grateful for whatever there is, such as food, water, fresh air. The real treasures of nature.

It's also about knowing:
  • I am enough
  • I have enough
  • there is enough if I need it

And certainly, as Christmas approaches, I feel this even more keenly. This year it will be simple for me, with a simple family get together later in the day, for those who can make it. 

And the thing is, when we are content with not having too much, we have time and space to live, and love. 

Friday, 14 December 2018

Are you a "slashie"?

              Image result for witty quote drawings about work

Are you? Are you a slashie?

"Slashie" is a new term for an situation which is actually quite old, as it's been happening for years. A situation which many people have been used to. And it's becoming more and more prevalent. More people are either having to "be a slashie", or are choosing to. It's just the way that the world, in particular the working world, has evolved.

A slashie is someone who is someone who has a number of different jobs, simultaneously. This can be:
  • by choice, in order to define oneself. Which is especially wonderful for busy people who have a passion which they would like to express. I met an accountant (her work pays the bills) recently, who does some healing (her passion), in the weekends
  • when I was training yoga teachers and aura healers, one of the first things that that I would say is: "keep your day job". The yoga teacher and healer situations are saturated in New Zealand, and I really wanted people to know that it is rare to be able to make a decent living out of doing just one of these two. Both groups of people need to be quite versatile to have steady work
  • often people will set out on a particular direction in life, and somewhere along they way, they will realise their deep correct calling, and start making the time and space for this. I have a yoga teacher friend who became drawn to ceremonies, and ended up also being a marriage celebrant. For myself, I was a yoga teacher who also became an aura healer. Over time, I found where my heart belonged, and became a Maori healer, and studied deep Maori spirituality. The yoga drastically receded in my life, the aura work is no more
  • I honestly would include working parents here
  • when it's hard to find full-time work, it makes sense to have two part-time jobs. So, in this case it would be out of necessity. I did this for years. When my youngest was a teen, I worked the equivalent of one and a half jobs, teaching yoga, and doing healing and regressions. These days I give clairvoyant readings, teach a bit of yoga, do healing, and write. It is much easier for me to just do one thing, over and over, in one place, but, for now, I do not see this happening. So, I keep being a slashie
  • there are some incredibly talented people who manage to create a couple of businesses, which they work at part-time, for each, and love it
I find that I need to be incredibly organised, as a slashie (the term makes me chuckle). Because so much time can be taken up with travel. And you also have to fit in some work to suit your clients, so you can be working unusual hours. This does make life interesting. For example, I just love, on a quiet evening, when I am on my own, to give a clairvoyant reading (no, I'm not a tarot reader, by the way). It's just such a peaceful happening.

Sometimes, though, it does seem as though we have to put our passions, our hearts longings, on hold, due to circumstance, and time. But, even just doing a wee bit here and there of what we dream of, as we are able, simply sets the wheels in motion, and we can just keep going like this until we are able to do more. Maybe morph from one way of life to another, if needed.

Myself, I do feel that having a few creative outlets is a wonderful way to paint our dreams. 

Tuesday, 4 December 2018

The weight loss chronicles: muscle memory

                  Image may contain: 5 people, including Alinta Okan, people smiling, people sitting, shoes and sunglasses

(with some of my sisters, many moons ago. I'm second from the right, during my "health food" and early days of yoga, years) 

What on earth is "muscle memory"?

A study earlier this year, to do with athletes actually, found that muscle memory is to do with genes inside our muscles. A gene is for storing information. And in this case, the study was looking at periods of muscle growth when we were younger, and how the memories of that growth, are stored in muscle genes (phew!!), in relation to exercise. 

But, even more importantly, that those same genes can be reactivated, later in life, through exercise. Of course, not only genes are involved, but also our brains and nervous system. But the bottom line is that 

muscle memory is laid down during periods of learning and practising (in this case, to do with exercise)

What does this mean for us?

If we stop using our bodies in some form of movement, our muscles will atrophy. Which means that they gradually waste away. Once we get past thirty, our muscle to fat ratio changes, and if we are not doing some form of exercise regularly, we can look the same as we did when we were younger, but inside, on the muscular level, we are not. We have more fat and less muscle, and those ratios can keep altering to our detriment. We finally end up flabby.

So, keeping up with some form of regular exercise is important. Not just for how we look, but also for how our bodies function.

Can this be reversed? Studies have shown that yes, muscle atrophy can definitely be reversed. Those patterns of movement which we had done previously, that kept us trim and toned with good muscles, they are still inside of us. They can be kick-started.

Regenerate and rejuvenate

We can regenerate our muscles. Especially when we do the same patterns of exercise as we did when we were younger. Those memories are inside of our body, awaiting to be reactivated.

What does this mean? To put it simply:

what were you doing when you were in a good physical condition?

This is me:

  • In my childhood I was a star athlete. I only was that way because I wanted to win races, and be good at netball. And win prizes. I've never been able to swim, by the way.
  • In my High School years, I walked miles everyday. And played cricket (I was a fantastic bowler) and hockey (I was tiny and could run like the wind, and weave in and out of the bigger girls) during the week and weekends. I loved to move.
  • When I became a young mum, I walked heaps, as we lived in a semi-rural area, and I had no car.
  • In my early twenties I took up Hatha Yoga. Not Iyengar yoga, which is when poses are held for quite some time, with props, and which actually makes me anxious. No, it was more doable than that. I was useless at yoga when I first started. But because I hated being uncoordinated and unhealthy, I persevered. I became good at it. 
  • Ironically, when I went to an Ashram to live where we we expected to hold poses in rigid positions for about three minutes each, I lost all of my gains from the previous years. I overheated and became stiff. I lost my flexibility. I hated that style of yoga. 

Looking at this, what shines out for me is: walking and Hatha Yoga. Those were the exercise forms which I most enjoyed, and which gave me muscle tone.

                   Related image

            (Auckland's West Coast beaches are just so beautiful to walk)

What suits you best with muscle memory?

I've known quite a few women who learnt ballet, even if not for long, when they were children, and who love yoga for its precision. I could always tell if a new lady in yoga class had learnt ballet at some stage: they were so flexible, and moved differently.

I was talking with one of my sisters who taught in a gym, many years ago. She must have been like a fitness pioneer. For herself, she used light weights, and yoga stretches, for muscle tone.

So, what suits you? What were you doing when you were fit and healthy? Your body remembers it.

Have I used this? and what happened?

I started being more dedicated with some morning yoga. Now, I don't have much space to do it in, nor tons of time, so I just do the best that I can. I am not a "stretch and extend" type of yogini. I just do it. I have a basic system which suits me, and I just adjust it, when and how I need to. But, I did add some extra flexibility type movements to help deal with my natural stiffness and morning-sore back. So, I do it five to six mornings a week, no matter how tired I am. What with breathing practices and some meditation, it takes less than thirty minutes.  

Honestly, some of the moves in yoga are not at all easy. And many require strength to do, as well as also making us stronger. So that is what is happening. I'm getting stronger. I'm not trembling so much in the hard poses, but I'm still not good at holding them a long time. I never was good at that. And I'm more flexible. And less tired. My muscles are remembering lots of different movement. And surprisingly, the moves which I was never good at, I still am not that great at them. So, the muscles seem to be remembering that, too. 

As we go through life, we have various mishaps. I developed adult asthma from the virus from hell, about eighteen years ago. It flares up with vigorous exercise. And I had an accident to one foot. The bones in that foot still "slip" and make me suddenly limp. The opposite hip was damaged another time, and this can cause problems. My lower back was damaged as a child and at various other times. So, walking long distances is a bit daunting for me. It really can be an effort. So this is the area where muscle memory plays tricks. They are remembering those aches and pains as I trot around. I would dearly love to be able to walk long distances. I want to so much that I am sure that I shall do it. But at the moment, walking is gradual, little but often. And it hasn't taken too much effort for the body to respond, happily and favourably to frequent, quick walks. I was a quick walker, so that's the way I've resumed it.

So, I would say that my muscles, which are of considerable years, are remembering lots of movement, and are restoring themselves. I am really happy about this.

letting go

                                        Letting go Letting go of what?  Of that which no longer serves oneself. I am at that stage. Ye...