Resilience

 resilience: the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness

photo by Jennifer Griffin on Unsplash

I had thought that resilience was only the ability to cope with difficulties, and have been wondering about my own resilience. But no, it's the quick recovery, and it's also toughness.

every lifetime has it's own hardships

Like everyone else, I have been through my own share of sorrow, hardship, extreme difficulties, during my long life. And also, like everyone, during those times I have often wondered how I would get through it all. But I did. I guess that was the toughness.

** those pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them ** (Rumi)

Mum used to say: "the wheel turns full circle"; "all things must pass"; and "what goes around, comes around". Very useful, those old sayings. I've found that if one is a good, kind person, then when times are very hard and fraught with painful emotion, that kindness gets returned, in so many ways, to help one get through one's life's happenings. 

And all things do indeed, pass. 

finding our own ways to develop our resilience

I have been thinking, what gives us that resilience? That ability to cope? And being able to bounce back? I imagine that it's different for each of us. I went to the Maori healing clinic that I belong to, last night. I've had so much going on that needed seeing to, had been under par healthwise, and was quite rundown. I had to forgo being there for a few weeks. But my friend, Debbie, who runs the clinic, asked me to just come and sit in the energy. So I did. I did a few healing things on a child, and chatted with a couple of friends. That's all. It gave me the space and healing vibration to lift me up on an undefineable level. So I guess that it's my Happy Place. 

I know that for others, their happy place that lifts and sustains them, is different from mine. My two adult daughters like hard physical work. One has a small farm, and works hard on it. The other does grueling crossfit (I can tell you that their yogini mother does not understand these at all)

Our happy place is important. It sustains us on a level, and gives us the resilience to bounce back when times are difficult. And, I do believe that during the good times, our happy place builds up our inner coping reserves. Makes us stronger inside. 

And this inner strength is so important for our life's journey. Because: Stuff Happens. 

Aside from a happy place, I've also been wondering about the other aspects that make us strong, and able to cope. Although I can tell you that I've had times when I wasn't sure that I could keep coping. But I did. I pulled my big girl pants on, and dealt with things, and then sorted myself out and bounced back.

How? For many of us, it does go back to childhood. Apparently, a child just needs one strong adult in their life during difficult times. I'm talking Big Stuff, here. 

But, of course it also applies to all children's life, in general. My strong adult was my beloved Nanna. She shaped every aspect of my life in a gentle, kind, wise, and loving way. I learnt from her example the inner quality of calmness that would sustain me throughout my life. Before I came to live with Nanna and my Aunt Margaret, I was not that way at all. 

I also learnt order from Nanna. The value of living in an ordered way. For me, this keeps me on an even keel. And now, when that all goes awry, my inner reserves are not so good. So this is what I do when life throws it's curve ball - I do my best to maintain some sort of order in my life. In a strange way, it helps me manage dis-order. This is just me - it might not be so for you.

So, continuing with the four pillars of life (link below), I'm still with mental/emotional health. And I can see how it links in with family for me (Nanna), physical health, and having a Happy Place for restoring oneself (spiritual).

I know that there are heaps more. I'd be very interested to hear others' thoughts and methods.

** click here for a helpful post for managing stress

** click here and here for the first two posts on the four pillars of health

** link to our Maori healing clinic, Ngakau Ora. I'm on the far right of the top picture